Smooth

What is it that turns you on? Everyone has something. Something special. If you’re a cd, I’m betting that there’s something in the feminization process that really gets your motor running. Maybe it’s applying makeup or slipping into your crossdresser clothes. Or maybe something more specific. Like glossy lip stick or big long lashes. Maybe it’s that moment when you strap on your heels. Or lace up your corset. Maybe it’s the moment you tuck yourself into your gaff. Perhaps it’s the feel of a certain material against your skin. Satin? Leather? Latex? Lace? Maybe it’s your favorite pair of panties. Or your silkiest panty hose.

For me, there’s one step that really puts me over the edge. (And puts all these other steps to shame.) For me, there’s one step that makes me think to myself, “Yes! Now I’m there. Now I’m in girlie mode.” And there’s no other feeling quite like it.

My moment is when I do my full body shave. I’ve been doing it for about a year now. (After several years of steady progression.) Now I’m smooth 100% of the time. I shave about once a week – more if I’m going out or doing something special. And every time I finish shaving I have the same reaction. I run my hands over my naked body. I feel the softness of my skin. And I am immediately transported. Like I said above, that is the moment when I cross over into girlie mode.

Also, for me, that moment is a bit of an accomplishment. Like most beginning dressers, I was hesitant to start shaving my body. I was afraid people would notice. I was concerned about what my vanilla friends and co-workers might think. But at the same time, I was trying very hard to look and feel more like the women and tgirls I admired. And none of them had body hair. So I started doing it in steps.

I started with my chest. This was pretty easy. Because in today’s world, lots of men shave or wax their chests. In fact, when I go to the beach in LA, it’s pretty rare to see a healthy looking, fit, toned man who doesn’t shave his chest. As more guys have started hitting the gym, they’ve all started shaving – all the better to show off those defined muscles and rock hard abs! I have neither muscles nor six pack abs, but seeing lots of other men with shaved, smooth chests gave me the confidence I needed to give it a try.

Not long after that I started shaving my legs regularly. Now, shaving your legs is just plain sexy. At least it is to me. I stretch out in the tub, and all those images of long legged girls from old Lady Schick tv commercials come rushing back to me. It’s a very erotic image. But again, I was worried that people would notice. So even though I loved the feeling, I would usually only shave in the winter. I didn’t want to bare my legs during the summer shorts season. I didn’t want to invite stares or embarrassing questions. That lasted a few years. But gradually, I became a little more courageous. I started wearing shorts in the summer again – even with my shaved legs. And, if anyone noticed, they didn’t say anything. It’s been several years, and no one’s ever pointed it out to me.

The next areas I tackled in my smoothie progression were my more private areas… my pubic region in the front and my ass in the back. These are very delicate areas to shave (obviously), but socially, they were pretty easy to face. I don’t know about you, but not that many people see these areas, so I didn’t feel I was exposing myself by shaving. I’m not going to describe for you the odd positions I get into to shave my “hard to reach” spots, but suffice to say that it’s a pretty awkward process. If shaving my legs is a sexual, sensual experience, then shaving my ass is low brow comedy. Actually it’s a lot like sex! It’s best to be gentle, to try different positions, and to keep checking yourself in a mirror. ;)

Along the way in this process, I also began shaving my back and shoulders and underarms. I don’t have a lot of back hair, but sheesh(!), when you start shaving, it suddenly feels like a whole lot more. What a pain! (And with the inevitable shaving irritation, when I say, “What a pain,” I really mean it. But a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.) BTW… if you find any of these areas absolutely unreachable, then get a friend to help! I’m serious. Just make sure it’s a really good friend.

The last part of my smooth-ification process was the most difficult for me. It involves a body part that I knew I couldn’t hide on a regular basis: my lower arms. For years, I shaved my upper arms and then wore long gloves when I went out in public or posed for photos. But I got tired of the gloves. And I was really tired of having drinks slip out of my hands! (Drinks in LA are pretty darn expensive!) I also wanted to wear nails – another one of those key feminization steps! But I knew that if I shaved my forearms that someone would notice. And someone did. A friend at work saw my smooth arms and asked me immediately. “What’s going on?”

I stammered a bit. I had my answer well prepared and ready, but I still stammered. Here’s what I said. I looked him in the eye and said, “Yes. I like it better this way.” Amazingly, that’s all it took. He never asked again. What does he think of my arms? Of my shaving? What does he think of me now? I don’t know. But I’ve never felt any repercussions. Apparently he accepts me as I am – my eccentricities included. Does he now think I’m a tranny because I shave my arms? I doubt it, that’s quite a leap. But I suppose it’s a possibility. All I know is that I was proud of myself for answering directly and honestly. And I still am! I’m usually not this brave. Or honest. So I have to give myself props when I am.

When asked about body shaving, I have tgirl friends who like to say, “My wife (or girlfriend) prefers me like this.” To me, that’s a great answer because what guy wouldn’t respect another man for trying to please his wife? Or for trying to appear more sexually attractive to her? In a way, it’s the perfect answer.

So that, in a nutshell, is my smoothness progression. From chest to legs to privates to forearms. I’ve also tried some hair removal products (without much success) and full body waxing (very successful, but quite painful and expensive). So there’s no easy answer for the tgirl who wants to present as smooth as a “real” girl. But I’ve found that all the work and effort really pays off. When I step out of the tub in my newly shaved body, I feel like I’ve arrived. Like I’m taking another step in my journey to become more femme and sexy. And the touch of smooth, ladylike skin? That’s pure heaven – even if you’re just touching yourself. ;)

By the way, I know several girls who have started or completed laser hair removal processes. These processes are becoming more and more popular among men and women of all kinds (gay, straight, young, old). It’s too expensive for me, but maybe I’ll interview a few girls who have gone through the laser process to see how successful it was and how expensive it was. I also know that the use of hormones for men can restrict or halt body hair growth.

All I know is that I hear radio commercials for professional hair removal several times a day. So it seems like that business is really growing. And that’s a good sign for girls like us. The more common hairless male bodies become, the less conspicuous girls like us will feel. So there’s never been a better time to get smooth.

What do you think?

Take care out there!
Be safe. Be smart. Be sexy!
xoxo,
CiCi

Beard Covering Tips

It isn't only crossdressers who have problems with beard shadow. For centuries, women have had to hide excess facial hair and sadly bruises and similar dark marks, by using makeup. Suddenly Fem offers beard cover and it’s a must have make up item for all of you Dolls.

You must remember that all store bought makeup, foundations and concealer’s are manufactured and designed with a woman's face in mind and will never cover medium to heavy beards, and will cover light beards only for a very short period of time.
Suddenly Fem offers beard cover that will give you the ultimate full coverage without a thick, dry, cakey, pasty look. Here are some quick tips for covering your beard.

• Obtain the closest shave possible! Start with a freshly washed face, and then moisturize. Shave using a moisturizing shaving cream and a double blade razor. Use a styptic pencil to stop the bleeding from cuts. Apply toner right after shaving and allow your face to dry for half an hour before applying the makeup needed to cover beard growth.
  


• With a pair of cuticle scissors, carefully trim all nose and ear hairs. Many crossdressers forget this, and even after you makeup is removed, having no visible nose or ear hair is just a good practice to get into.
  


• Apply a thin layer of lotion on your skin to protect it from the makeup.
  


• Put foundation/beard cover on your face and neck using a lightly dampened sponge wedge. Use a tissue to blot off the extra makeup and allow it to dry. Avoid applying the foundation/'beard cover too thickly because it will cake.
  


• Cover the bearded area using a makeup wedge and blend into the area around the beard. Apply more foundation over the top. Our face cream foundations are perfect matches for our beard covers! You can use 2 or more tones of foundation to create contours on the face.
  


• Dust on loose powder to make your face, especially the beard growth area, looks smooth. Use a powder puff to apply this makeup so you don't smear the foundation or concealer

My Life as an Avatar

I don’t go to movies that much any more. It’s so much easier to stay at home and program TIVO for the latest flicks. But when I heard about “Avatar,” I heard that it really needed to be seen on the big screen (and in 3D) to be appreciated. So I dragged a few friends to a screening at the famous Cineramadome in Hollywood. (The Dome has been renovated and I haven’t been there in years. I love old Hollywood, so it’s great to see this old facility completely upgraded and state-of-the-art.)

I don’t want to do a movie review, but I really enjoyed “Avatar.” It’s a non-stop thrill ride through some particularly effective and stunning animation. And the depiction of the new world (Pandora) – and its flora and fauna – is very imaginative. But the part that really got to me was the whole concept of inhabiting another body. Something I’m sure most of us tgirls can identify with. And if you’re already on Second Life, you can definitely relate!

In the film, an injured Marine named Jake takes a new job as an avatar on a strange planet. His human body is inserted into a pod and he takes control of an alien avatar who enters a tribe of Pandora’s residents. Jake’s job is to earn their trust and share secrets with his superiors. The plot is very similar to “Dances with Wolves,” and in the end the Marine comes to admire the natives and their ways. (He also falls head over blue heels in love with the chief’s spirited daughter.)

Any way, like I said, I don’t want to do a movie review. But the avatar concept really got to me. The idea of someone moving between two worlds. The idea of inhabiting a totally different body. The idea of living in someone else’s skin.

All of that appeals to me. Because that’s what I do all the time as a tgirl! And I think the movie – without intending to – captures the exhilaration that occurs during a physical transformation. We see the hero try out his new body… his new capabilities and skills. Sure, he’s not in heels for men or crossdresser lingerie, but he is taller, thinner, stronger and faster. And we get to see him test his new body much as a child does at different stages of development.

Much as I’m doing now. Much as you’re probably doing now. And I’m talking about something a little deeper than learning to walk in heels or sit in a tight corset. I’m talking about inhabiting another life form and expressing that new personality physically. In the way you walk. In the way you gesture. In the way you speak.

And do you feel the power? In the movie, Jake’s avatar is fast and strong. But it goes deeper than that with tgirls. I hate to quote the Spice Girls, but do you feel the Girl Power? Let’s face it, in our society, in our tribe, girls have powers that men just don’t have. And when used effectively, those skills and powers can have an amazing effect on others.

Others might be attracted to us… as friend or lovers… in ways that we never expected. In ways that we never experienced before as males. We might be mythologized (as women often are), idealized into something we’re not. We might find we’re able to get people to do things for us… from buying us drinks to holding doors open… to awful tasks like helping us move or driving us to the airport.

We can even make people fall in love with us.

And that’s where it gets scary. That’s where you really have to do a reality check. The person you’re entering a relationship with might see the relationship as reality. While you, if you’re honest, might see it on a more surreal level. You might just be playing. You might just be trying on the guise of a different personality. But your potential lover is dealing with real life.

And that just isn’t fair.

Like Jake in the movie, you have to learn how to harness and control your new power. Or risk hurting innocent people in the process. And it ain’t easy. This Second Life/Femme Life stuff is pretty intoxicating. It’s easy to get carried away. To get drunk on Girl Power. It gets confusing. In the movie, Jake (in human form) comes to a realization… “Everything is backwards now,” he says. “Like out there is the true world and in here is the dream.”

And that’s the way I’ve been feeling lately. Like I’m in the dream and it’s becoming my reality. Like maybe I’m getting a little carried away with CiCi. It’s like my life has switched over. Where I was once a guy who dressed in crossdresser clothes from time to time, now I feel like a cd who reluctantly has to be in boy mode a lot. Which would be fine if I was thinking of transitioning. But I’m not. I’m happy being a cd. The trouble comes in when I forget that my wife, my extended family, and people like my boss at work are still living in the real world -- while I’m off on Tgirl Pandora. And I don’t have to be dressed to be in CiCi mode any more to feel it. I’m in CiCi mode in my head a lot.

But, again, that’s not fair. Like an avatar, CiCi can’t get hurt in the same way that normal humans can. Because she’s often not emotionally invested in the same way that others are. In the movie, if an avatar gets hurt, the human in the pod merely wakes up and leaves the pod – without a scratch. If you’re just playing at girl mode, it’s probably good to remember that not everyone is in on the game. Not everyone is as invulnerable as you. Not everyone is snuggled in the safety of the pod.

In tgirl world, we talk a lot about being careful. About being safe. It’s a dangerous world out there. But what happens when the most dangerous thing out there – the thing that can cause the most pain, the thing that can do the most damage – is you?

In that old song, “Sunscreen,” the speaker says, ‘Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts.” And I think that’s pretty good advice on any planet.
Take care out there!
Be safe. Be smart. Be sexy!
xoxo,
CiCi

Celebrate Valentines’ Day with Suddenly Fem!

Every February we celebrate Valentine's Day by giving flowers, candy and cards to those we love. We do this in honor of Saint Valentine. You may be wondering, "Who is this St. Valentine"? Time to brush up on your Valentine's history!

Legend has it that Valentine was a priest who served during third century Rome. There was an Emperor at that time by the name of Claudius II. Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those that were married. With this thought in mind he outlawed marriage for young men in hopes of building a stronger military base. Supposedly, Valentine decided this decree just wasn't fair and chose to marry young couples secretly. When Emperor Claudius II found out about Valentine's actions he had him put to death.

Another legend has it that Valentine was an imprisoned man who fell in love with his jailor's daughter. Before he was put to death he sent the first 'valentine' himself when he wrote her a letter and signed it 'Your Valentine', words still used on cards today.

So who is this cupid and what does he have to do with Valentines’ Day? Another valentine gentleman you may be wondering about is Cupid (Latin cupido, "desire"). In Roman mythology Cupid is the son of Venus, goddess of love. His counterpart in Greek mythology is Eros, god of love. Cupid is often said to be a mischievous boy who goes around wounding both gods and humans with his arrows, causing them to fall in love.

Did you know that the U.S. Greeting Card Association estimates that approximately one billion valentines are sent each year worldwide? This makes Valentines’ Day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year, behind Christmas!

Perhaps we'll never know the true identity and story behind the man named St. Valentine or Cupid but this much is for sure...February has been the month to celebrate love for a long time, dating clear back to the Middle Ages.

Why not celebrate Valentines’ day by doing something for yourself or for your special someone! Purchase some sexy lingerie, a new gaff, panties or a great pair of hosiery, Suddenly Fem has so much to choose from for cross dressing.

Suddenly Fem wants you to celebrate Valentines’ Day with this special offer…..

Spend $100.00 and save $10.00

Use code: Val10 ($10.00 Discount)

Hurry this offer is only valid thru February 14th, 2010 and

is only redeemable on-line at suddenlyfem.com

Limit one coupon per order and cannot be combined with any other discounts or coupons

T-World 2009. The Year in Review

Okay, we touch on a lot of topics in this blog. Lingerie for men. Heels for men. Panties for men. Hormones for men. (Are you picking up a trend?) But every once in a while I like to get a little serious and talk about things that are a little more global. Most news agencies do their “Year in Review” this time of year… so I thought I would too. (But don’t worry, after this it’ll be right back to crossdresser clothes and hosiery for men as usual!)

You know what? This was a pretty good year in T-World. RuPaul had a hit TV show. Propositions on gay marriage (while not successful) did bring gay and transgender issues into the national dialogue. And the internet seems to have spawned an ever growing number of tgirl websites, support groups, and chat rooms. I’ve said it before and I”ll say it again. It’s a great time to be a T!

Now don’t get me wrong. I know it’s not all coming up roses out there. T-World lost one of its most visible and inspiring personalities when transgendered sportswriter Christine Daniels took her own life in November. And transpeople all over the world still fight ignorance, prejudice, and sometimes violence every day. Then there are the more personal challenges associated with the transgender life. Broken marriages. Finished friendships. Disowned children. Lost jobs. Lost promotions. Daily insults. Hurtful remarks in the media. It’s not easy being queer!

But there have also been some pretty amazing accomplishments in the trans community in the past 12 months. So I thought I’d review of few of them now – just in case you missed them. I know I’m speaking to a pretty broad audience with this blog. I know that these words are read by tgirls and cds, admirers and friends, drag queens and closet queens. But no matter where you are on the transgender spectrum, I think you can appreciate the courage and honesty behind each of the accomplishments below. These heroic individuals have challenged their communities, their national governments, their friends and families, and their own personal biases and feelings of low self-esteem – all for the simple right to be themselves.

Okay, this first item actually occurred in late 2008, but I thought I would include it any way. In November of ‘08, the small town of Silverton, Oregon elected an openly transgendered politician as mayor – perhaps for the first time in the nation. Stu Rasmussen had been active in Silverton’s local politics for over 20 years and he had been elected mayor twice before! But this was the first time he ran for office after receiving breast implants and dressing as a female in public.
Rasmussen joked that because he was open about his dressing, he had “blackmail proofed himself.” The campaign therefore concentrated on the issues at hand (and couldn’t more election campaigns use that kind of honsty and focus?). Stephen Marc Beaudoin, a reporter for the Portland publication, “JustOut,” claimed that Stu never sought recognition for his dressing. “He's interested in doing a great job for the community that he loves. The gender identity thing is just a total backseat thing."
BTW… I used male pronouns to describe Stu because that’s what he uses to describe himself. "I am a dude," he says. "I am a heterosexual male who appears to be a female." I smile every time I read that quote. And I wonder how many of our readers would describe themselves the exact same way!
Another great story from a much younger tgirl came out of Virginia. In October of ‘09, The College of William and Mary crowned its first transgender homecoming queen, Jessee Vasold. Jessee, who identifies as genderqueer, was announced at halftime of the homecoming football game (along with her court) and received an overwhelmingly positive response.

"I've only had people congratulating me,” Jessee said in an interview. William and Mary is the second-oldest university in the U.S. and has no gender specifications for its homecoming queen. Students who made nominations were simply asked to describe how the candidate exemplified Tribe pride. And apparently Jessee fit the bill!

Many of Jessee’s family members were at the game to see her receive her honor, but she admits that while they are generally supportive, they were also a little uneasy about her decision to accept the award. 'They're a little hesitant about this,” she said. “But they realize that it's my choice to accept.”

Congratulations Jessee! And maybe even more so, congratulations to the William and Mary student body for this landmark vote! As I have written before, I’m very curious to see how the younger generation handles issues associated with transgender life. And stories like this give me hope!
The last story I want to relate occurred in December, but actually started ten full years ago! In December 2009, trans woman Marcela Romera was named by lawmakers as Argentina’s 2009 Woman of the Year! The honor was conferred by the Committee on Women and the Family in the lower house of the Argentine Congress. The award recognizes Marcela’s 10-year court battle to have legal documents issued recognizing her identity as a woman.
An artist and civil rights activist, Marcela is the vice president of Argentina’s Association of Transvestites, Transsexuals and Transgender Persons. She says her award suggests that "no other person would have to wait 10 years or more in order to receive a national identity document with their name and gender identity."
When I first read this news report, I was immediately struck by the length of Marcela’s court battle. She’s been fighting for 10 years – and that’s approximately the length of time I’ve been dressing. I feel like I’ve come a long way since the year 2000. And to think that Marcela has been in and out of court that whole time just blows me away. She’s been fighting all this time for the simple right to have her female name and gender published on her official ID. A lot of ID photos end up looking like mug shots. But what do you want to bet that Marcela’s smiling ear-to-ear on her ID!
Congratulations to all of these very proud and confident tgirls. I find each of these stories touching and inspiring. And I marvel at the thought that these milestone moments are taking place all over the world among tgirls of all ages! As I read over the short bio’s I’ve written, I realize that I could never do justice to the long battles and years of struggle (both public and intensely private) that each of these individuals has endured. Breaking new ground isn’t easy. But for some, like these brave souls, walking on the old ground just didn’t cut it.
By the way, if I’ve missed a particularly important moment in transgender news (and I’m sure I have), please feel free to add it in the Comments section below. There’s nothing like an upbeat success story to re-inspire the gender rebel that lives inside each of us! I’ll end this Year in Review with a nice quote from Marcela – Argentina’s Woman of the Year: “I am what I am. The right of one person is the right of all.”
Amen to that! And Happy New Year to all of our readers!
Be safe. Be smart. Be sexy!
xoxo,
CiCi

NOTE: As I was preparing to send this out, two more big stories hit the international news! Geez, tgirl news is happening fast these days! First of all, Pakistan became one of the first nations, if not the first nation, to recognize a third gender! According to news reports, the Supreme Court in Pakistan ordered the government to officially recognize a separate gender for Pakistan's hijra community, which includes transgendered people, transvestites, and eunuchs. The court told the federal government to allow people to identify as hijras when they register for a national identity card!
Then, not long after that bit of encouraging news, here in the States, President Obama appointed Amanda Simpson, a transgender woman, to be a Senior Technical Advisor to the Commerce Department. Considered to be the first openly transgender individual ever appointed by a president, Simpson has worked for over 30 years in the defense and aerospace industries, most notably at Raytheon. A former military test pilot, she holds degrees in physics, engineering, and business administration.